motherfucking_ghosttype | [video]

Skip to Main Content

[video]

[See Church. See Church sit on the edge of a bed. See Church sit on the edge of a bed, grumping.

Not that it's immediately obvious who it is, as he hasn't actually shown his face until now. And before this poke-place, he didn't have a face. Don't worry. His bitching voice is distinctive.]

Okay guys. I'm no homeowner expert, or a landlord, or have any legal understanding of building...stuff. But I think some basic rules should apply across the board. And across the universe. Like, if you have a place to rent out or sell, if it's a hotel room or an apartment or an air mattress on the kitchen floor, you should let people know certain important aspects.

Like if the place is fucking haunted. That should be a law!

[As if on cue, while Church speaks, a Gastly flits about behind him, must have wandered out of Sprout Tower, making all manner of silly faces and occasionally licking things.]

It's a couple very simple things you should line up if there's something wrong. No wifi, bedbugs, and paranormal activity. I don't ask for much. All I want is a bed with clean sheets and a bathroom that flushes and has hot water, and--

[He abruptly turns around, and the Gastly blinks out of sight.] DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW YOU'RE THERE! KNOCK IT OFF! I KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT GHOSTS, PAL. I WILL HAUNT THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR SPOOKY ASS AND SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT THEN!

[There's some static and a purple haze as, oh, looks like a ghost is interested in the device.] Gaaaaast... Oh no you do not, Casper, you get your unfriendly self away from that thing so help me.

Anyone know of any Ghostbusters in the area?!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Some of them keep trying to follow you too? Ugh I am so glad to be away from that creepy tower... I hear dark types or- [And at this she just scrunches up her nose and fights back a groan.] Or other ghosts are strong against them...but I never found a really effective way to stop them from just stalking me.

[...Is this guy implying a bit that he was a- n-naaaaw...]

I don't know where any dark types are around the area, though. I couldn't find any. Maybe I just had poor luck.

Dark types. Yeah. Yeah, okay, I think this wikipedia of pokemon was saying stuff about types. Which...I guess that's kind of like an animal hierarchy? Like...tree...descriptive scientific stuff except for this world. I mean. Come on, of course a bird is going to be a 'flying' type. This place is weird. It will never not be weird.

[He takes it relatively well for being weird. Aside from bitching about there being NO ROADS OR VEHICLES TO DRIVE ON ROADS. And haunted inns. But to be fair, he'd be bitching about haunted inns even if it wasn't a weird mutant creature to fight other weird mutant creatures.]

Maybe it could be useful? You know, in a fight? Nobody I've talked to so far seems to like them, which I guess makes sense if they keep haunting you you little orby gaseous shitface. [The gear shakes, with the sound of a petulant little gaaastly accompanying it.] You bet your translucent butt I'm talking about you.

[Weird is fucking right, all of this... Ashley lets out an awkward trailing laugh, just sighing and...sagging against the tree she's sitting against.] Yeeeah, they're uh. They're handy...kind of powerful sometimes... I would know, since this place seemed to think it was a great idea to give me one as a starter.

[This is not the face of someone who was pleased with that.]

She's grown on me. And she can kick some ass. But she's still an impish little ghost.

Is that like a natural trait of ghosts around here? Cuz this one, man. It's...it's not doing a good job of being scary, just annoying. [Okay, fine, how about a lamp floats around the room by ~invisible forces~? Is that creepy? No? Guess it's not as scary when you know what's doing it...] I'm gonna need that light. Put it down.

Maybe ghouls just wanna have fun. [he thinks he's so clever]

[Well she might not think he's clever but he's at least made this teenage girl snicker in amusement, so he's got points there.] Probably.

That sounds a lot like the...ghostly MO, you know? Outside of...horrible terrifying hauntings. [Small shiver. It's reflective. She also seemed a little uneasy at the sight of a floating lamp, she's that kind of person.] I...that's a Gastly, right? From what I know, they mostly just like being little pains in the ass.

Well this one's doing a pretty good job of being a pain in the ass. Sounds like we should get along just fine. Which is not an invitation, Slimer.

Sounds like you've got a hefty dose of the heebie-jeebies about ghosts, huh.

[The snickering just. turns hesitant.] Yeah, um... I'm not a big fan of anything spooky or...supernatural.

Understandable. Weird shit is weird shit. And weird shit is reasonable to not be a fan of. I mean, I'm not necessarily a fan of weird shit, I'm just used to it happening all the fucking time.

That so? Seems to be a thing for most people around here. Used to weird shit. A freaking requirement, with some exceptions. [Grumble:] With my track record I should probably start to get used to it.

I dunno, I guess it really depends on what kind of place you're from?

Well, yeah, but- even in the most normal-seeming situations, something weird can and, uh, most likely is lurking beneath the surface, right?

Absolutely. Like 200% agree with you there. Welcome to my life, basically. That's not helping, is it?

Not in the slightest.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only