[video]

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

[Church is dirty, and he looks exhausted, and he's got some scrapes that could probably use some neosporin, but he's giving a lopsided grin.]

Okay. It's been a fucking trip. Rocky start, with turnarounds, and caves, and a lot of fucking animals, and too many people way too eager to do battle with their mutant sentient animals.

But I made it. I'm here.

[He turns the gear around... AZALEA TOWN]

GOD DAMN IT!

...I kid, I kid, I tried taking a shorter route to Goldenrod, but guess what, those animals there mean fucking business, and Andy and Slimer were just not able to take what was being dished out.

[He turns it back on himself.] Let me just say I am so happy to see civilization again. So happy. I just--

[The gear goes, and so does Church, and when he recovers from his tumble, he looks down (that's what you get for making a selfie video) and curses again. Pans down to the Slowpoke that's lying in his path.] Oh, oh, okay, make me look like a dumbass in front of the world, that's awesome, thanks for the ringing endorsement, fatass! What the fuck are-- [WHOOPS BETTER TURN OFF THAT GEAR THEN]

Comments

[text]

[ferino]

[He can feel the buzzing. Can't make out half of what's being said, but he laughs at what he does catch. And that's really just this guy looking like a mess, tbh.]

looks like you could use a first aid kit

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

looks like I could use major paths not thru fuckin caves n shit n also fewer grassy areas also fewer ledges also fewer violent sentient animals also im fine

[Action]

[hashtagafreakingghost]

[That yelling... She's heard that voice- and it's loud enough to echo on the other side of town, that's for sure. Either way, it's mostly curiosity that brings Ashley toward Church. Curiosity, and the fact that she's planning on training for the day, so she's got a few Pokémon following her: a Litwick, a Chansey, and a Ducklett.

...She doesn't quite expect to see him on the ground insulting a Slowpoke, though? Uhhh.

Her Litwick starts to giggle. Thanks, Agatha.] Iiii wouldn't keep doing that if I were you. The locals are kind of...protective of these critters.

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

Well then maybe they shouldn't worship lazy pink fucks that lay their fat asses across the sidewalk!

[He huffs, though thankfully he doesn't do anything else untoward to the critter. If this was back home, he'd probably kick the thing, but then the thing might also have been an alien, so--

Andy the Voltorb gives him a hard nudge to the back of a leg (after rolling AROUND the Slowpoke, thank you).] Okay, sheesh, always so fuckin' pushy...

Uhhhh so hi. Hi, wait, I know you, kind of, don't I?

[hashtagafreakingghost]

[Agatha's giggling increases and Ashley just. Shush, be quiet, candle. Moves her back with her foot and gives her a small glare.]

Kind of works? We talked about meddlesome ghosts on the network, but never got to exchanging names. Do you, uh, need a hand, or...?

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

[God, and here the pinecones with eyes were weird enough.]

Oh! Yeah! The wigged out about spooky shit girl! Yeah, I'm uh. I'm, uh! Church. [He brushes himself off a bit and offers a hand because that's what normal people who aren't in intergalactic armies do!] I'm Church, and now I'm in a town, so I'm way more than fine. Hopefully. Unless I get haunted again.

[DID SOMEONE SAY HAUNTED bc look who poofs into existence behind Church making tongue-based silly face, it's Slimer the Gastly hello]

[hashtagafreakingghost]

Yes, that would be me, I--

[But before Ashley can introduce herself, Church'll get to see in person just how scared of ghosts she is, because BOY that comes out of nowhere!! At the sight of Slimer, she lets out a scream and promptly jumps back in shock, forgetting her Litwick is right behind her. The little candle yelps and leaps out of the way and Ashley, off-balance, falls over.

...Yeah.]

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

[It's only a momentary surprise, because he can pretty well guess what caused that. He turns to Slimer with an annoyed look and crossed arms. Doesn't say anything, just looks.

Slimer is delighted that he actually got to scare someone, even if he wasn't really going for scare, and hovers around in a happy circle until catching his trainer's look.] Gaaaaaa--?

No, don't you gaaaaastly me, poof away now and stop scaring the ladies. You wanna go back in your ball? Gastly gast! I have no idea what that means. Ball or poof, it's your choice.

[For his part, Slimer does look a little genuinely bad, even though he's not sure what he did wrong! He's a ghost. He spooks people. But he can't feel too bad because he sticks his tongue out at Church petulantly, even while he disappears into his ball.]

...Sorry. About that. Um, you okay?

[hashtagafreakingghost]

[While Church scolds Slimer, she just whimpers; good thing her Chansey (who has started doting, running her little hands over Ashley's cap-covered head) decided to follow her today, because a little happiness is good after a big scare. Her feet feel cold and everything else feels hot, though that may just be the rising embarrassment because wow right in front of someone she's just properly met, there is nothing worse.

...Except maybe a night of terror, but, you know.

She's flustered and panicky and annoyed and it all comes out as a mortified pout.] I- uh- y-yeah uhm. Yes. I'm f-fine, he just- he just startled me.

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

...Yeah. Startled. By a thing that scares you that someone shouldn't take so much joy in. [He offers a hand to help her up.] Yeah I uh. I picked up a ghost. The little guy trying so hard to spook me ended up wanting to come along. And he's not so much of a spook as a total goofball. So honestly he was probably just as much trying to make you laugh as he was scaring you.

I seem to be picking up little jackasses for my jackass party.

Looks like you've got...the opposite of that going on.

[hashtagafreakingghost]

Make me laugh... [That's said rather faintly; she knows just what kind of Pokémon Josh would want if he was here, and that thought pains her. She takes his hand and tries to compose herself a bit better.]

Ha. They- most of them are... They mean well. [Agatha protests, Wiick!] ...I guess they're protective. B- but there's one from Violet that's, uh, f-following me, almost- obsessively. [Shiver. ...A belated:] Oh, thank you, I came to help you up but then, well...

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

What--following you? Like you mean there's some fucked up ghost stalking you? [He looks around, eyes narrowing.] That's fucked up. Is it big? Is it here? I'll punch a ghost, I don't give a fuck.

[hashtagafreakingghost]

[Ah- well, that is unexpected, how quick he is here.] Well- in order, yes, no, and maybe? It... I thought I lost it back in...Union Cave but I saw it lurking outside again before...

[She slides her backpack around to the front, digging for...something.] It's a Phantump. Have you seen those? Weird eyes and...bodies, 'bout as tall as her? [Gestures to Agatha, who frankly should be on the lookout herself.]

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

Uhhh, don't think so? Doesn't sound familiar, anyway. Maybe you should catch it? Like, maybe it wants to be caught by you? And then you can just shove it in your computer box thing and never take it out. That should work, right?

[hashtagafreakingghost]

Catch it? Eegh! Why does everyone keep saying that, I don't want it...I don't know, it's a ghost, what if it possesses the computer or my other Pokémon?! I don't trust doing that.

audio

[dosomethingslacker]

Holy fucking shit, you still haven't found it yet.

[LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF, HOLD ON.]

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

Dude! Do you realize how long it's taking to walk, freaking walk, the long way around? It's a long walk! Even without getting bombarded by rock-creatures in caves!

[dosomethingslacker]

Have you thought about not going in caves?

[That being said, Church's pokemon are way stronger than Tucker's now at least. He's got that going for him.]

Don't even think of asking for a piggyback ride, that shit doesn't fly anymore.

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

Gee, do you think I would go through caves if a cave wasn't the only path to go?

Whatever, just think how fit my legs are gonna be now that I actually have muscles.

[dosomethingslacker]

Not as fit as mine, I assure you that.

[THANKS, WASH.]

Besides there are other paths to take, genius. No one told you to go that route.

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

I tried to take a shorter path, but those mutant creatures were, like, fucking up my guys. [Now they're more powerful and probably wouldn't be an issue but at the time...!]

Look. When I win all the battles singlehandedly [YEAH RIGHT] you're gonna regret not taking the long way around, the hard way, full of hardship and learning and suffering and shit. Character-building, etc.

[dosomethingslacker]

I'm pretty sure I already took that path before I got pulled here, just an FYI. And my guys can take care of themselves just fine with the training they get here.

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

Carrying me around that time my legs didn't work does not count as the road of hardship. That's, like, the road of privilege.

[dosomethingslacker]

You're right, every single time I did that was the end of the road of hardship. Rock bottom.

Just fucking get here so I can fill you in on everything. [Well. Most of everything.]

What do you have with you now anyway? And did you really name that thing Andy.

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

Look at least I'm not gonna make you flip any dongles now, so. Be glad about that.

And yes, Andy! It's angry and round and semi-heavy. If I just call it Voltorb, how am I gonna distinguish it from any other Voltorb? And then we've got Slimer. [oogieboogie what a scurry purple ghost poison cloud with wicked big eyes popping up, who Church then shoves back down] He seemed to take to the name. With the licking. Also, not as noncoporeal all the time as you would expect of a ghost.

Uhhh, I've also got bats? I've got, like, a ton of bats. I'm not even afraid of bats, and even I think this is a concerning number of bats. I guess I'll...find somewhere to let them go... And some plants? Some plants...happened. Variety is the spice of life, I guess.