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Mar. 23rd, 2025 06:14 pm
APPLICATION - INBOX - VISUALS - GIF - POKEMON/INVENTORY
[It has not been a good time in the Goldenrod inn Church has been staying at, a prolonged stay to try and work...things...out. There's been a lot of freaking out. About skin, for one. The vaguely familiar and yet absolutely not at all familiar animal...creature...things in his room. At himself and the memories he now re-possesses.
There's been some screaming involved. People are dead--agents are dead because of him--no, that's not right, that can't be true--yes they were counting on him and he wasn't good enough--something else is going on this is just something else for him to figure out, new test, new iteration. New challenge. Maybe...a simulation? Maybe it's a simulation.
It would explain a few things. When he's calmed to at least an amount he can talk, and when he's figured out that just yelling at the ceiling isn't doing anything...]
He-hello? This thing's on, right? Of course this thing's on, I can see it working. It's like a radio, right--no, okay, I got it, just--
[There's clearly something strained, panicked in his voice. Disorientation and fear.] Director? Can you hear me? I swear to god--Director, come on, someone answer me! C-Counselor? Please. I need direction. I need to know what you want me to do. I can't help if I--if you aren't giving me all the variables--Director?
...Fucking someone... I'm just--hey, I'm doing the best I can, here!
There's been some screaming involved. People are dead--agents are dead because of him--no, that's not right, that can't be true--yes they were counting on him and he wasn't good enough--something else is going on this is just something else for him to figure out, new test, new iteration. New challenge. Maybe...a simulation? Maybe it's a simulation.
It would explain a few things. When he's calmed to at least an amount he can talk, and when he's figured out that just yelling at the ceiling isn't doing anything...]
He-hello? This thing's on, right? Of course this thing's on, I can see it working. It's like a radio, right--no, okay, I got it, just--
[There's clearly something strained, panicked in his voice. Disorientation and fear.] Director? Can you hear me? I swear to god--Director, come on, someone answer me! C-Counselor? Please. I need direction. I need to know what you want me to do. I can't help if I--if you aren't giving me all the variables--Director?
...Fucking someone... I'm just--hey, I'm doing the best I can, here!
[video/action]
May. 4th, 2016 02:26 pm[video]
[Goldenrod is a pretty familiar sight by now to a lot of people. Church films his approach for several steps and takes a deep breath.] Ah, the sweet smell of civilization again. [He continues to walk and talk, looking around the city.] I mean, don't get me wrong, this walk wasn't as long as the one to Azalea--which, spoilers, fuck that--but jesus christ do I sometimes miss sitting in a stupid god damn canyon with nowhere to go except...across the canyon.
Anyway, so I'm here in the city people apparently congregate and talk about like it's fucking Hollywood or New York or something. I was, uh, I was gonna make a joke about streets paved with gold, but as it's called Goldenrod and things are very...gold-ish in color, that joke doesn't seem to hold any water. Awesome.
As I'm supposed to be meeting someone here [tucker] and he didn't really give a location other than this city [tucker], if anyone needs me, I'll be hanging out as the pokecenter. I can't believe I'm already starting to get used to adding 'poke-' to the start of words. But I'll be there, hanging out with my team, get them rested and relaxed, and, have I mentioned that carrying only six and having anyone else you catch fucking magically download to a computer is not only bullshit, but creepy bullshit?
Because it is. Oh hey look! [There is the pokecenter.] Yeah, so. I'll be there. I want to say I won't be hard to miss, since I'll be the extremely devilishly handsome one, but I'm pretty sure I'll get mocked even though I'm right.
[action]
[And there he is, sitting on a bench with various poke-critters around him, chatting with them or keeping them from wandering off Richard and occasionally looking around to see if Tucker's come to find him.
Or York. Is it weird he's not actually completely terrified of the idea of another Freelancer running into him? That's fucking weird. But he won't say no to anyone else saying hello. Probably. Maybe.]
[Goldenrod is a pretty familiar sight by now to a lot of people. Church films his approach for several steps and takes a deep breath.] Ah, the sweet smell of civilization again. [He continues to walk and talk, looking around the city.] I mean, don't get me wrong, this walk wasn't as long as the one to Azalea--which, spoilers, fuck that--but jesus christ do I sometimes miss sitting in a stupid god damn canyon with nowhere to go except...across the canyon.
Anyway, so I'm here in the city people apparently congregate and talk about like it's fucking Hollywood or New York or something. I was, uh, I was gonna make a joke about streets paved with gold, but as it's called Goldenrod and things are very...gold-ish in color, that joke doesn't seem to hold any water. Awesome.
As I'm supposed to be meeting someone here [tucker] and he didn't really give a location other than this city [tucker], if anyone needs me, I'll be hanging out as the pokecenter. I can't believe I'm already starting to get used to adding 'poke-' to the start of words. But I'll be there, hanging out with my team, get them rested and relaxed, and, have I mentioned that carrying only six and having anyone else you catch fucking magically download to a computer is not only bullshit, but creepy bullshit?
Because it is. Oh hey look! [There is the pokecenter.] Yeah, so. I'll be there. I want to say I won't be hard to miss, since I'll be the extremely devilishly handsome one, but I'm pretty sure I'll get mocked even though I'm right.
[action]
[And there he is, sitting on a bench with various poke-critters around him, chatting with them or keeping them from wandering off Richard and occasionally looking around to see if Tucker's come to find him.
Or York. Is it weird he's not actually completely terrified of the idea of another Freelancer running into him? That's fucking weird. But he won't say no to anyone else saying hello. Probably. Maybe.]
[Church is dirty, and he looks exhausted, and he's got some scrapes that could probably use some neosporin, but he's giving a lopsided grin.]
Okay. It's been a fucking trip. Rocky start, with turnarounds, and caves, and a lot of fucking animals, and too many people way too eager to do battle with their mutant sentient animals.
But I made it. I'm here.
[He turns the gear around... AZALEA TOWN]
GOD DAMN IT!
...I kid, I kid, I tried taking a shorter route to Goldenrod, but guess what, those animals there mean fucking business, and Andy and Slimer were just not able to take what was being dished out.
[He turns it back on himself.] Let me just say I am so happy to see civilization again. So happy. I just--
[The gear goes, and so does Church, and when he recovers from his tumble, he looks down (that's what you get for making a selfie video) and curses again. Pans down to the Slowpoke that's lying in his path.] Oh, oh, okay, make me look like a dumbass in front of the world, that's awesome, thanks for the ringing endorsement, fatass! What the fuck are-- [WHOOPS BETTER TURN OFF THAT GEAR THEN]
Okay. It's been a fucking trip. Rocky start, with turnarounds, and caves, and a lot of fucking animals, and too many people way too eager to do battle with their mutant sentient animals.
But I made it. I'm here.
[He turns the gear around... AZALEA TOWN]
GOD DAMN IT!
...I kid, I kid, I tried taking a shorter route to Goldenrod, but guess what, those animals there mean fucking business, and Andy and Slimer were just not able to take what was being dished out.
[He turns it back on himself.] Let me just say I am so happy to see civilization again. So happy. I just--
[The gear goes, and so does Church, and when he recovers from his tumble, he looks down (that's what you get for making a selfie video) and curses again. Pans down to the Slowpoke that's lying in his path.] Oh, oh, okay, make me look like a dumbass in front of the world, that's awesome, thanks for the ringing endorsement, fatass! What the fuck are-- [WHOOPS BETTER TURN OFF THAT GEAR THEN]
[See Church. See Church sit on the edge of a bed. See Church sit on the edge of a bed, grumping.
Not that it's immediately obvious who it is, as he hasn't actually shown his face until now. And before this poke-place, he didn't have a face. Don't worry. His bitching voice is distinctive.]
Okay guys. I'm no homeowner expert, or a landlord, or have any legal understanding of building...stuff. But I think some basic rules should apply across the board. And across the universe. Like, if you have a place to rent out or sell, if it's a hotel room or an apartment or an air mattress on the kitchen floor, you should let people know certain important aspects.
Like if the place is fucking haunted. That should be a law!
[As if on cue, while Church speaks, a Gastly flits about behind him, must have wandered out of Sprout Tower, making all manner of silly faces and occasionally licking things.]
It's a couple very simple things you should line up if there's something wrong. No wifi, bedbugs, and paranormal activity. I don't ask for much. All I want is a bed with clean sheets and a bathroom that flushes and has hot water, and--
[He abruptly turns around, and the Gastly blinks out of sight.] DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW YOU'RE THERE! KNOCK IT OFF! I KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT GHOSTS, PAL. I WILL HAUNT THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR SPOOKY ASS AND SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT THEN!
[There's some static and a purple haze as, oh, looks like a ghost is interested in the device.] Gaaaaast... Oh no you do not, Casper, you get your unfriendly self away from that thing so help me.
Anyone know of any Ghostbusters in the area?!
Not that it's immediately obvious who it is, as he hasn't actually shown his face until now. And before this poke-place, he didn't have a face. Don't worry. His bitching voice is distinctive.]
Okay guys. I'm no homeowner expert, or a landlord, or have any legal understanding of building...stuff. But I think some basic rules should apply across the board. And across the universe. Like, if you have a place to rent out or sell, if it's a hotel room or an apartment or an air mattress on the kitchen floor, you should let people know certain important aspects.
Like if the place is fucking haunted. That should be a law!
[As if on cue, while Church speaks, a Gastly flits about behind him, must have wandered out of Sprout Tower, making all manner of silly faces and occasionally licking things.]
It's a couple very simple things you should line up if there's something wrong. No wifi, bedbugs, and paranormal activity. I don't ask for much. All I want is a bed with clean sheets and a bathroom that flushes and has hot water, and--
[He abruptly turns around, and the Gastly blinks out of sight.] DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW YOU'RE THERE! KNOCK IT OFF! I KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT GHOSTS, PAL. I WILL HAUNT THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR SPOOKY ASS AND SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT THEN!
[There's some static and a purple haze as, oh, looks like a ghost is interested in the device.] Gaaaaast... Oh no you do not, Casper, you get your unfriendly self away from that thing so help me.
Anyone know of any Ghostbusters in the area?!
Why aren't there any roads?!
[Hello, world of pokemon. Church is grumpy. You'll find this is normal.] I mean, I get that towns can be small, but come on, did I land in the middle of fucking nowhere?! You've gotta have roads--don't you have cars? Please tell me you have cars. How else do you ship things around, unless this is secretly an advanced civilization and everything's delivered by airships. Or like...drones.
But no, I haven't found a single road yet. It's just forest and dirt paths and tall grass and ledges that I can't seem to be able to hop up???
And, and, these stupid god damn mutant freaks of nature keep wanting to bust a cap in my ass. Thankfully I've got a sentient bowling ball to smack things with its body. Apparently. I got as far as a cave and apparently my electric powered lightning ball can't light anything up for shit, so I thought better of staying in a dark creepy-ass cave because I've seen horror movies, so now I have to go all the way back the way I came and walk--walk!--in the direction of a different town, and do you know what would make this way easier?
That's right. Cars. On roads. To ferry people to and from places without having to walk every god damn where. Shows me what I get when I go toward the first building I see.
In short, I hate this place, I hate your crazy experimental mutant creatures from the depths of every child's nightmares, I hate walking for days, I'm pretty sure if I ever have granola again I'm going to kill myself, and I'm ready to wake up from this stupid fucking hallucination any day now.
[Hello, world of pokemon. Church is grumpy. You'll find this is normal.] I mean, I get that towns can be small, but come on, did I land in the middle of fucking nowhere?! You've gotta have roads--don't you have cars? Please tell me you have cars. How else do you ship things around, unless this is secretly an advanced civilization and everything's delivered by airships. Or like...drones.
But no, I haven't found a single road yet. It's just forest and dirt paths and tall grass and ledges that I can't seem to be able to hop up???
And, and, these stupid god damn mutant freaks of nature keep wanting to bust a cap in my ass. Thankfully I've got a sentient bowling ball to smack things with its body. Apparently. I got as far as a cave and apparently my electric powered lightning ball can't light anything up for shit, so I thought better of staying in a dark creepy-ass cave because I've seen horror movies, so now I have to go all the way back the way I came and walk--walk!--in the direction of a different town, and do you know what would make this way easier?
That's right. Cars. On roads. To ferry people to and from places without having to walk every god damn where. Shows me what I get when I go toward the first building I see.
In short, I hate this place, I hate your crazy experimental mutant creatures from the depths of every child's nightmares, I hate walking for days, I'm pretty sure if I ever have granola again I'm going to kill myself, and I'm ready to wake up from this stupid fucking hallucination any day now.
Pokemon & Inventory
Mar. 23rd, 2016 07:52 pmIn party:
In box:
Inventory:
clothing set 1
clothing set 2
3 changes of undergarments
1 12oz bottle of liquid soap
1 8oz bottle of shampoo; 1 8oz bottle of conditioner
1 washcloth, 2 towels, 1 toothbrush, 1 travel-sized pack of toothpaste
clothes line, 6 clothes pins, and rubber gloves
Trainer Handbook
1 sleeping bag
1 PokéGear
5 Potions
1 Repel, 1 MaxRepel
1 Escape Rope
6 PokéBalls
Pidk not much
In box:
Inventory:
clothing set 1
clothing set 2
3 changes of undergarments
1 12oz bottle of liquid soap
1 8oz bottle of shampoo; 1 8oz bottle of conditioner
1 washcloth, 2 towels, 1 toothbrush, 1 travel-sized pack of toothpaste
clothes line, 6 clothes pins, and rubber gloves
Trainer Handbook
1 sleeping bag
1 PokéGear
5 Potions
1 Repel, 1 MaxRepel
1 Escape Rope
6 PokéBalls
Pidk not much
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